It’s 12am and pitch black. No I am not in my comfy bed. I am in the middle of nowhere with my husband on our honeymoon. It took us two and a half hours to hike out here in the roughest terrain I have ever seen. We are heading down a winding path in between a 200 foot cliff and a volcano. We hope we will see lava…. We hope. But regardless, this is the most physical thing (well almost the most physical thing.) I have done at 12am.lol.
Yes I have Bear Grylls as my new husband, and yes I am totally acting “cool” about this hike. I am feisty and leading some of the time, which silently makes me proud. This was after 2 previous tough hikes in Hawaii that day.
You’re listening to a girl that never finished a mile in school. That quit everything. That never hung in there. When the tough got going, I went and got a cocktail. So how did I get here, and how was this making me happy?? Perspective. Positive thinking. Believing you can, and stopping reminding myself of every damn failure, and just pushing ahead. “You are the only one that keeps reminding you about your failures.” Dayna Tappan. DON’T DO IT! It is so toxic!! How long in my life have I reminded myself of that mile I quit, every time I failed. Well its over.
We hiked all the way to the fire red lava on the broken and crumbling rocks without a break. It was amazing…gorgeous Fire Red glowing lava…so cool. This was something I always wanted to do, but was scared. This is another positive milestone to remind myself of when the tough gets going.
Oh crap. Now we have to hike back. Well I will just put on my big girl panties and think forward and not behind me. I will not think there are three more hours to go. I will not think about the negatives and the past. Only positives from here on out, even though my legs are burning like lava!! I will revel in the present and experience this adventure with all senses.
This is so symbolic to me…this whole journey to Hawaii. Here I am, a self proclaimed quitter that was miserable. I weighed 165 on a 5’6” frame, and I drank to cover up my insecurities. I was depressed and hopeless. Here is when I started taking responsibility for my own actions…one at a time. I was on a path to betterment.
Now, I am in Hawaii the most beautiful place I have ever seen, the happiest I have ever been! The most in control, the most powerful. I just married the man of my dreams, and he is making me even stronger. I feel like I can conquer the world.
I want to say a HUGE Savage Thank you to Mama Savage, Coach Kim, and the whole Team. You guys have changed my life. You have taken the spirals and the yoyos out. You have enabled me to be as fit and as happy as I could of ever imagined. You have put my focus on health and fitness, so I can be the best I can be. I do not obsess about diet mistakes anymore. I do not self loathe. I have the power of empowerment. These ladies are life changers. Competitions are wonderful. But life is the reward. Live the life you want to live… just make sure it’s a happiest one!!! Every day is the finish line…the true happiness that is forever. xo