If so, read on!
Three indicators of people-pleasing
One common indicator that you could be a people-pleaser is if you are a person that has a hard time saying no to a request from anyone. Then as soon the yes is out of your mouth, you are overwhelmed with other peoples’ work that you agreed to do. And because of it, now your own responsibilities begin to slide, because you feel the other people’s work or promised activities are more important than your own because you don’t want to disappoint.
Another indicator is you go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
But in the process of it you end up agreeing to things that in the end compromise your values and who you are. By not standing up for yourself and wanting to avoid conflict, your true self remains hidden from others.
A third indicator is need praise to feel good about yourself. People-pleasers thrive on what others say about them and in the process go to great lengths to do things for others that will result in praise for themselves.
As time goes on, these indicators erode your self-worth and lead you to become even more subservient to other people; in the end, you don’t have the time to pursue your own career and life goals and don’t rise to the level of success that you had set for yourself.
How to break free!
A journey starts with a single step and the road to recovery as a people-pleaser is no different. Start by saying no to small requests. Explain that you just don’t have the time right now to take on more work or bake cookies for the school play. Like anything else, taking that first step is the hardest, but it becomes easier each additional time you do it.
By saying no, the person asking will find someone else to help out, or end up doing it themselves, which is what they should have been doing in the first place.
If you are the type of person that thrives on helping others, avoiding conflict and feel the need for constant praise to feel good about yourself, you could be a people-pleaser. But keep in mind that you will always be at their beck and call if you do not take that first step to break free and do what you want to do.